The Old Blueprint
We are in our sixth week of the program and my old blueprint keeps popping its head up. I had hoped that by now it would be hiding somewhere down deep in my subby. But it seems not to like the readings we are doing.
Almost every time during the readings is where it sticks it head up. I even name it Briner, that how the kids in the neighborhood pronounce my last name. I thought that I had put it to rest but in the last week or two its seems to have a life of its own. I'm starting to stop my reading when it pops up and saying "Briner that was the old Jerry this is the new Jerry, take a hike." Have to see if that does the job. Part of my problem is from my time as a Deputy Sheriff. We used to spend a lot of our time dealing with people that would just as sure want to shoot us as not. Hard to relate to protecting ourselves with a shield made of love.
Maybe my problem is expressed by Edward R. Murrow "The obscure we see eventually. The completely obvious, it seems, takes longer." It seems hard to replace my blueprint from over 60 years and has gotten me here in pretty good shape, better than many people but less than some people. Philosophical as defined by Merriam-Webster (on line) is: characterized by the attitude of a philosopher; specifically : calm or unflinching in the face of trouble, defeat, or loss. Many times defeat or loss meant great bodily harm. It was hard to stay calm in those conditions. When we were able to remain calm, it did work to our advantage. But the reading should be taken philosophical, I believe. Maybe I should follow the old Zen Saying "Knock on the sky and listen to the sound." Maybe I should listen for that sound and let it leads me somewhere. But do you see my problem; how do you knock on the shy? Every time I think I stumble on an answer, it creates another question. Will it ever stop?
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